Posts tagged dominance
Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.
I actually answered this same question last year for Insatiable Desire. Well, for my F (short for fiance) and I we kind of have a slight switch from time to time – but we mostly stay in certain roles. Sadly, I have learned that “switch” relationships are looked down upon in the BDSM community. So at times I don’t like to admit that we have a “switch” type relationship. Though, the “switch” aspect happens rarely, because I am normally the submissive and my F is the dominant. I don’t feel comfortable taking on the dominant role at all, so it rarely happens. I do however enjoy being a submissive greatly, I love being able to let go of my control and put my trust in my F to take care of me the way he sees fit. I have a high pain tolerance, so I am fine with being punished by spankings or even having my breasts flogged – so punishment or discipline is also a part of our BDSM relationship.
We are not in a 24/7 relationship, I do have a “public” collar type necklace that I will wear from time to time out in public though. We aren’t exactly open about it, we keep much of our sexual and personal lives to ourselves. Which is part of the reason I have this blog, I love to talk about it – but I would rather talk about it in an open environment where I don’t have to worry about being judged for doing certain things I enjoy. In day to day life, I am naturally headstrong, opinionated, independent, and very dominant. So it’s great to be able to feel the release of control when I hand myself over to my F to take care of me. Recently we have been incorporating more discipline into our relationship as well which helps to keep me motivated. I’ve had to go on a special diet so if I don’t properly keep track like I should, I have to answer to my F for it. It’s the same with a couple of my other bad habits, though I admit it’s a little fun to let it slip from memory from time to time so I do get a swat on the tush.
(Image from What Turned You on Today….)
Lately my partner and I have been experimenting with bits of BDSM. BDSM has been something that I have been intrigued by longer than I have realized. We’ve been experimenting – usually I fall into the role of being submissive. He wants me to try being dominant as well, at times I may threaten to punish him for something – and he seems like he really wants me to go through with it. I’ve just been all talk when it comes down to it, and I don’t know why – I’m just shy about it. At times I’m a little afraid that I might hurt him too much, but he just tells me that’s what safe words are for.
It’s a little odd for me coming from an Italian heritage because the women normally have dominant personalities – so naturally I have one too. I’ve put him in bondage before and it’s quite a turn on for me. I love the image of being able to dress up in a pretty dress or a corset and have a riding crop in my hands – but I just can’t seem to really go through with it. I guess that it may be because I put others before myself so often, that maybe it just feels odd having someone put me before themselves in a way that will let me dominate them.