A blog that focuses sexuality, sex toy reviews, and life.
Posts tagged contemplation
Erotic Art Museum
0Wow, I just learned that Miami has an erotic art museum. I think I will have to visit it if I am ever in Miami some day. Here are some sculptures that they have on display. They are highly realistic and definitely NSFW. Click here to see the sculptures.
Currently sexually frustrated.
0So recently for the second time in my sex life, I have felt extremely sexually frustrated to the point that I actually get a little grumpy. I’d like to think that I have a nice healthy sex drive and when it gets to the point that I need the release – I need the release and there is no arguing that. I need it so bad that I can’t focus fully on anything that I am doing. Which really sucks, because I am a college student and I have home work that needs to be focused on and when I sit down to work on it. There have been a few times that I sit down to work on my home work and I can’t think about anything other than sex. This is when I usually get a little frustrated with myself, my brain says “Stop that – you can wait until after I finish my work” and my body says “Forget that, I need this right now!”
Luckily for me, I live with my partner and we have sex regularly when we need it. What do I do if he’s not home? I just masturbate with one of the awesome sex toys that I own – so I still get the release that my body craves. Sure, for me it will never replace sex with my partner – but it at least fulfills that need until I can have sex with my guy again. Though there have been times where a sex toy just won’t cut it for me and I need my partner. I need to feel his body against mine and I need the release that he gives me. I also need the feeling he gives me when he wraps his arms around me and lets me lay against him and rest afterward. Nothing will ever give me what he gives me or make me feel the way he makes me feel.
It’s just that I don’t know how to get my mind off of it when it does happen. Right now, my poor guy is currently sick and can barely breathe through his nose and I don’t really have a whole lot of time to myself right now to even masturbate. That is what happened the first time I became sexually frustrated as well. My beau and I were both so busy that at night we were too tired to even think of having sex. I’m thinking I might have to hide one of my water proof toys under the sink or something so I will have one in there at all times when I may need one – so I have that back up at least.
So, here I am currently feeling sex obsessed and waiting impatiently for my partner to get better.
Bad dreams make me wonder
0A few nights ago, my partner woke up (he and I kind of woke up at the same time) and told me he had a bad dream, one that was horrible to him. So I laid there and reassured him that it was just a dream and he was fine – that we were both still laying together in our bed at our home. He looked upset and told me that it had to do with me, so I immediately thought that maybe he had a dream where I died. I kept telling him that I was fine and he didn’t need to worry about anything. That’s when he told me that he had a dream where he was having to sit and watch me have sex with another man. He made it sound like he knew the other guy, but he wouldn’t tell me who. It made him feel horrible and he told me he couldn’t understand why he would have a dream like that. I had to hold him and assure him that it would never happen and that he was all that I needed. I asked him if how he was feeling, because maybe that would be the reason he had a dream like that. He told me he didn’t know and that maybe he felt like he wasn’t able to be enough for me. He definitely wanted to make love with me that morning too, I’m not much of a morning sex person – but because he needed it to feel better, I indulged him and it definitely seemed to help us both feel good for the day.
I suddenly felt bad and I did that day too. My partner and I have been butting heads lately, either he or I have been frustrating the other one or we have just been annoyed with each other. He and I have been living together for a while now, but since we last moved – it’s the first time we have lived together depending solely on each other for financial support or other things along those lines. He and I used to live with some of my relatives because we couldn’t afford to be on our own yet. I don’t know if that did it or what, but until we moved I have never had so many times that I have gotten annoyed with him. I don’t know if it’s because we have now become such prominent figures in each others lives or what. I mean, to me it’s completely normal for people who live together to get annoyed with each other off and on. He and I always kiss and make up no matter what. Thinking about that made me feel bad though, I thought that maybe I did something to cause that dream. Like, maybe because I had been getting annoyed with him so much lately that I was making him feel like he was enough for me. I wondered if maybe I don’t compliment him enough or tell him that I loved him enough. I wondered if maybe I wasn’t giving him that type of support that he needed to keep him feeling confident enough.
When I approached him about it, he told me everything was fine and he didn’t feel like I needed to change anything. Despite him saying that, I have made sure to say I love you more or compliment him more. I never ever want him to feel like he is not enough for me. I don’t have eyes for any other man – I only have eyes for him. I don’t want anyone else, I want him. I have no need to even be sexual with anyone else but him. Sure, I will make jokes about wanting to have fun with Zooey Deshanel sometimes, but I don’t mean them and I hope he realizes that. I love him and I see myself and I don’t see myself ever leaving him (unless he does some huge relationship “no no”, like cheating, etc.). He has a part of my heart, a part of me. I told him that I feel like we are two puzzle pieces, we only match with each other for that perfect fit… and it’s true.
Hormones and Biological Clock ticking
15So I just found out today that another one of my friends is going to have a baby. It’s that time of the month for me so I have my hormones bouncing around like crazy and then suddenly as soon as I hear that, my biological clock starts ticking away again. It seems to do that every once in a while now. It’s done that more than usual now that my partner and I have moved in together. So once that happened, I ended up having a huge urge to go home and have sex with my partner and have him finish inside me so I can get pregnant. Of coarse, I couldn’t do it right that second anyways because I am on birth control so that kind of throws a wrench into that plan too.
I have three friends that are having babies and more than that I know are getting married. Here I am, halfway to 30, I’m not married, I’m not going to or planning on having children anytime soon. I’m still working on getting through college and so is my partner. I really don’t want to have kids anytime soon so when we do finally decide to have children, I will probably be in my 30′s. I guess part of me feels like I am moving too slow compared to others and that I need to keep up. It’s just weird, but I’ll probably feel differently next week when my hormones calm down.
