Posts tagged dreams
A few nights ago, my partner woke up (he and I kind of woke up at the same time) and told me he had a bad dream, one that was horrible to him. So I laid there and reassured him that it was just a dream and he was fine – that we were both still laying together in our bed at our home. He looked upset and told me that it had to do with me, so I immediately thought that maybe he had a dream where I died. I kept telling him that I was fine and he didn’t need to worry about anything. That’s when he told me that he had a dream where he was having to sit and watch me have sex with another man. He made it sound like he knew the other guy, but he wouldn’t tell me who. It made him feel horrible and he told me he couldn’t understand why he would have a dream like that. I had to hold him and assure him that it would never happen and that he was all that I needed. I asked him if how he was feeling, because maybe that would be the reason he had a dream like that. He told me he didn’t know and that maybe he felt like he wasn’t able to be enough for me. He definitely wanted to make love with me that morning too, I’m not much of a morning sex person – but because he needed it to feel better, I indulged him and it definitely seemed to help us both feel good for the day.
I suddenly felt bad and I did that day too. My partner and I have been butting heads lately, either he or I have been frustrating the other one or we have just been annoyed with each other. He and I have been living together for a while now, but since we last moved – it’s the first time we have lived together depending solely on each other for financial support or other things along those lines. He and I used to live with some of my relatives because we couldn’t afford to be on our own yet. I don’t know if that did it or what, but until we moved I have never had so many times that I have gotten annoyed with him. I don’t know if it’s because we have now become such prominent figures in each others lives or what. I mean, to me it’s completely normal for people who live together to get annoyed with each other off and on. He and I always kiss and make up no matter what. Thinking about that made me feel bad though, I thought that maybe I did something to cause that dream. Like, maybe because I had been getting annoyed with him so much lately that I was making him feel like he was enough for me. I wondered if maybe I don’t compliment him enough or tell him that I loved him enough. I wondered if maybe I wasn’t giving him that type of support that he needed to keep him feeling confident enough.
When I approached him about it, he told me everything was fine and he didn’t feel like I needed to change anything. Despite him saying that, I have made sure to say I love you more or compliment him more. I never ever want him to feel like he is not enough for me. I don’t have eyes for any other man – I only have eyes for him. I don’t want anyone else, I want him. I have no need to even be sexual with anyone else but him. Sure, I will make jokes about wanting to have fun with Zooey Deshanel sometimes, but I don’t mean them and I hope he realizes that. I love him and I see myself and I don’t see myself ever leaving him (unless he does some huge relationship “no no”, like cheating, etc.). He has a part of my heart, a part of me. I told him that I feel like we are two puzzle pieces, we only match with each other for that perfect fit… and it’s true.