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30 Days of Kink: Day 3

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Current Mood:Playful emoticon Playful

Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?

Well, I always had a thing for bondage – it seemed like. I liked the idea of being tied up during sex. I don’t know how this notion came about – but it just happened. I remember getting my F to do it for the first time. I think I felt a little nervous but not really, because I thought that this was normal. I was surprised when he said he had never thought of it. So I was a little afraid that I was going to be seen as the weird one in the relationship. It pretty much just started out with bondage – but then it went into spanking and kind of spiraled out from there. Now, I’m in a nice healthy relationship with BDSM elements here and there.

30 Days of Kink Day One

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Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

I actually answered this same question last year for Insatiable Desire. Well, for my F (short for fiance) and I we kind of have a slight switch from time to time – but we mostly stay in certain roles. Sadly, I have learned that “switch” relationships are looked down upon in the BDSM community. So at times I don’t like to admit that we have a “switch” type relationship. Though, the “switch” aspect happens rarely, because I am normally the submissive and my F is the dominant. I don’t feel comfortable taking on the dominant role at all, so it rarely happens. I do however enjoy being a submissive greatly, I love being able to let go of my control and put my trust in my F to take care of me the way he sees fit. I have a high pain tolerance, so I am fine with being punished by spankings or even having my breasts flogged – so punishment or discipline is also a part of our BDSM relationship.

We are not in a 24/7 relationship, I do have a “public” collar type necklace that I will wear from time to time out in public though. We aren’t exactly open about it, we keep much of our sexual and personal lives to ourselves. Which is part of the reason I have this blog, I love to talk about it – but I would rather talk about it in an open environment where I don’t have to worry about being judged for doing certain things I enjoy. In day to day life, I am naturally headstrong, opinionated, independent, and very dominant. So it’s great to be able to feel the release of control when I hand myself over to my F to take care of me. Recently we have been incorporating more discipline into our relationship as well which helps to keep me motivated. I’ve had to go on a special diet so if I don’t properly keep track like I should, I have to answer to my F for it. It’s the same with a couple of my other bad habits, though I admit it’s a little fun to let it slip from memory from time to time so I do get a swat on the tush.

30 Days of Kink

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Here is the 30 Days of Kink meme that you can do and I will be doing. I will probably start mine tomorrow. I look forward to having fun with this!

Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

Day 2: List your kinks.

Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?

Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hinted at your kinks?

Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience? If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen.

Day 6: Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.

Day 7: What’s your favorite toy?

Day 8: Post a kinky image you find erotic.

Day 9: Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy.

Day 10: What are your hard limits?

Day 11: What are your views on the ethics of kink?

Day 12: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had. If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.

Day 13: Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?

Day 14: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?

Day 15: Post a BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.

Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?

Day 17: What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?

Day 18: Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves? If so, what are they?

Day 19: Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? If so, what are they?

Day 20: Talk about something within kink/bdsm that you’re curious about/don’t understand.

Day 21: Favorite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction)

Day 22: What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?

Day 23: Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? How so?

Day 24: What qualities do you look for in a partner?

Day 25: How open are you about your kinks?

Day 26: What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?

Day 27: Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?

Day 28: How do you dress for kink/BDSM play? What significance does your attire have to you?

Day 29: Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)? What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?

Day 30: Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.

Give and Recieve: Compliments

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In lieu of Valentine’s Day passing, I’ve decided that I wanted to post a prompt in hopes that it will encourage bonding between you and your partner. I want you to think of at least 5 things that you love about your partner and if you can get your partner to do the same thing for you, have them do it as well. Then I want you to share the lists with each other – if you want to post the list on your blog, then do so. You can even think of creative ways to share it with your partner, like print the list and cut out each one to leave in places around the house for them to find through out the day. I know it may seem a little cheesy but how often do we lay the compliments on each other? I know I can be bad about it sometimes, I get so distracted by daily life that I forget to say something nice and it’s so simple. So why not make your partner feel good? I really hope that your partner will participate as well and give you compliments too – they are so simple, so why not?

Here is my list to share with my partner:

1.) Your patience (you are so great to put up with my emotional craziness from time to time!)
2.) That you are willing to do house chores. (You don’t know how much this helps me to have your help)
3.) You put forth the effort to make sure our relationship remains great.
4.) You’re a nerd
5.) You can make me feel like the prettiest woman on Earth even when I feel like I am the worst.

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