Posts tagged contemplation
So here I am, I recently moved out of a home where I was living with a relative into a home with my boyfriend. We’ve been together for a little over 2 years now but we mesh so well that it almost seems like I could call him my husband because of how serious we are about each other. So I have been thinking about it, I feel that I am completely ready to change my relationship status, not married per say (that will probably be a few years from now depending on when or if I get proposed to) but at least engaged. I don’t care if we are engaged for 3 years before we are married, at least I get to have a change in status. I don’t know, I guess it’s just me and something I have been jonesing for since we have moved. I always said that he could never propose to me until we could move out of our relative’s house and now we are. I don’t know, I guess it just doesn’t help that it seems like everyone around me is getting engaged or married and I sit and think “I’d like that”. So that is causing me to jones for it a bit.
I mean, there is no way we could afford a wedding – unless we just go to Vegas and get eloped but I don’t know if I want that necessarily. So I know for sure marriage isn’t in the equation right away. Sometimes I feel like me just calling him my “boyfriend” isn’t a serious enough title for the way I feel about him. Which is why I often times call him my “partner” instead because he and I are in a serious relationship, especially now that we live together and are helping each other out. It just feels nice to be able to be introduced as someone’s fiancee too.
Sigh…. I guess it’s just me though, and I’m sure it will happen someday.
I was going to avoid posting something on this subject because I know people can go either way in their feeling towards it. After watching my friend having to go through a hard annulment, I can’t help but write a post on it. I went to my best friend’s wedding recently, paid a lot for a dress, watched and was supportive. Then 3 days after the wedding, the husband comes out and tells her that he has gotten another woman pregnant. He knew about it the whole time lied to her and cheated on her. I always knew her as a person that was open, optimistic, friendly – and I got to see her become depressed and bitter. It has really gotten to me, I mean she was giving the man everything – even paying his way through college. They were happy together and then he just went off and did something like this. She was even willing to try to work things out afterwards because she understood that humans make mistakes, but then he wouldn’t come through with his end of the bargain so she decided to get the marriage annuled. I’m really disappointed in the whole situation, I just really don’t understand people sometimes. Why lie to each other and why cheat on each other? If people care so much about each other, then why do it?
I love my partner so much and I would never dream of doing anything to hurt him. I also completely trust him not to lie or cheat on me. I’ve always been more worried that he would just up and leave me for someone else, not cheat on me. I also asked him to be honest with me from the beginning, even if he thought that it may hurt me. It’s better to get it out in the open then to hide things from each other in our relationship. So because we are like this, and though it’s not easy for me to come right out and say things, we always will remain this way and that makes me happy.
I just don’t understand people, I mean someone is going to end up hurt whether it’s the wife, the husband, or the other man or woman – someone could end up hurt. If someone is need of an open relationship – why not set this up in the beginning or sit down and talk about it? My friend even admitted that if her ex had been willing to sit down and tell her that he was interested in them being with other people, even as a couple that she would have been willing to listen and see how they could work things out. I mean I can understand that people have issues with each other and may not fully be happy, but why not stop and try to do something about it before you get to the point of no return? Why do things without thinking about the effects of on those close to you?
I don’t know, I just hate seeing people get hurt so badly – that’s what I get for being empathetic.